....And Exhale.

Driving around in my small town in Virginia is very different from driving in New York, which I now refer to as "back home".  While "the Apple" has it's crazy cab drivers and "entitled" pedestrians, Virginia has these long, windy back roads with our furry friends (of all sizes) that seem to make appearances at the most inopportune times.

Back home, although the roads are extremely busy and bumpy, I can drive without thinking because it's comfortable to me.  I dare to say that I'm a little negligent as a NY driver because this is the place that I know and everyone else is doing the same thing.

However, the challenge for me in my new place of residence is that I'm still learning my way around, so I find myself "pumping the brakes" pretty often.  I drive with extra care...extra precaution.  Those windy roads that I mentioned present anxieties of the unexpected simply because I'm not familiar with them.  When I first moved here, making my way around town, I would hold my breath while I was driving.  Sounds strange, right?  Don't worry, at some point, I do exhale, but it's usually at the end of my trip.

Anyway, my encouragement for you today is very simple. God knows what He's doing and He happens to be smarter than you.  I get it...life has happened and, in your opinion, it's hard to trust even Him sometimes.  And so, you find yourself gripping the wheel and driving because you know where you are trying to go and you know all of the short cuts.  Yes, I said the "short cuts"...we can all agree that at some point we felt like God was taking too long.

Today, as I'm slowly settling in this new place, I find that I actually enjoy the long, windy back roads with their unexpected twists and turns.  I even enjoy stopping for an occasional deer because it gives me something to look at and learn while I wait.  

Only God knows what's around the next turn for me. On the back roads (in my secret place), there's just Him and I in the vehicle He uses to get me where I'm going.  There's movement.  I'm nervous, but there's movement.  I get a little anxious because this new turn came up on me so quickly, but there's movement. 

So trust God and trust your journey...movement means you're still breathing.  The process hasn't killed you.  Be encouraged and keep stirring!

I'm Tired, And You Are...?

Here we are already a month in to 2015 and I remember, just as 2014 was rapping up, I got myself all "hyped up" about the year approaching.  But why?  Was it really because I was excited about the future or was it actually because I was so exhausted from the trial and error of the past years?

My friends, I made a promise that, as God would allow me the opportunity, I'd share my life with you candidly...transparently, so that you would be encouraged.  So, here is where I am in one word...TIRED.  I've been here before (as I'm sure most of you have as well), but I finally realize why I experience this recurring "season of exhaustion".

Don't you hate waiting?  I mean, even if you are the kind of person who is always late, you still despise having to wait on someone else.  That's a little hypocritical, don't you think?  We also hate getting our feelings hurt, we hate being sick...oh and I love this one...we can't stand "phony people"! There is a common thread here.  It seems that what we really hate is when the unexpected occurs in the middle of what we expect.

So what am I doing about the things I claim to "hate"? Well, I thought I was doing everything within my human capability to "...keep stirring" (as I always sign in my book when asked for an autograph). One day I realized that if I'm the one overwhelmed then I can't possibly be the one with the solution. EUREKA! I didn't know it all after all! 

Don't turn to temporal resolutions while, once again, expecting permanent changes. Seek out the Eternal One because it is only He who can bring finality to what seems like a vicious recurring cycle. You never know - He may show you that the root of the thing you hate might be found in you. At least, that was my hard pill. What's yours? 

Better Off Without him?

So I'm in the process of working on my next book; I like to call it a "poly-memoir".  It is the true life record of four single Christian women called In Search of a Savior.  I have some crazy sisters who are brave enough and Kingdom-minded enough to open their lives for the purpose of blessing someone else.  I mean, we do live it to give it, right?

Anyway, as I'm gathering my data (from them) for the book I began to compare the notes of our lives. We started talking about our fathers...

Sister 1 was raised by her single mom and grandmother.  On weekends, she visited her dad who apparently wasn't that interested in enjoying a father-daughter bond. Instead, he watched her develop into a beautiful young lady and when she was ripe at 16, he had sex with her during one of his drunken stupors. Later in life, older men became her "men of choice".

Sister 2 had dad in the house...her parents were a "common law" couple or as the old church would say, they were "shacking up and making babies". Let's just get to it...crack cocaine, alcohol and a perverted spirit caused him to treat her like prey. Another little girl with her innocence and childhood snatched away. Today, being playful or "letting her hair down" is still somewhat of a struggle for her.

Sister 3 shares that she had a "normal" relationship with her dad, but also that he physically abused her mom. Dad helped her with homework, picked her up from school, defended her to bullies and even taught her how to fight. He cooked, cleaned, was a good disciplinarian.  Sister 3 goes on and on, but I noticed that while she spoke all of these wonderful things about her father, there was barely any emotion.  Was the relationship really normal?  I guess if normal is standing in the bathroom doorway watching your dad "shoot up" while you talked about your day, then yes, they had a perfectly "normal" relationship. She, today, has a great handle on things learned, but "limp noodle fingers" when it comes to things felt.

Well, if you read Today, I'll Make Lemonade, you already know that my dad was an absentee and an alcoholic. I spent years, mostly all of my life, resenting him for not being there, but after talking to my sisters, I wonder sometimes, "Was I better off without him?"

I rhetorically ask that question and when I answer myself back, there is a resounding "YES" that rings in my spirit.  Don't get me wrong, I still do wish that my dad were around...he was a very kind-hearted man and I'm sure he could have taught me alot.  But he was sick and he was not in position to deposit into me the strength and endurance that God has invested in me.  Finding balance in the way I exhibit that strength is my challenge. Sometimes it seems like I'm too strong for my own good.

Simply put, my journey is mine and my sisters' journeys theirs, but we have all landed in a place where God proves, as always, that HE is the Champion Father.  And being HIS, we acknowledge that we are not perfect women...but better.

You've Gone Too Far...REROUTING!!

So, now that the girls and I have relocated to Virginia, my mom was kind enough to purchase a navigation system for me (just in case I forget where she lives, I guess...LOL). Seriously, I'm so blessed to have this little gadget, not just because of it's obvious purpose, but really because of one word...REROUTING!

Whenever I do not precisely follow the directions of the system, it notifies me that there is another way to get to where I'm going. And then, after announcing that it is "REROUTING", this little wealth of information reveals a new plan. Today, I went too far...I allowed a person and a circumstance cause me to go too far from who God calls me.  I got so angry!

Friends, you don't have to lose your way.  We all have moments where we either choose to "pay an extra toll" for a shorter route or take a longer route for a lesser cost.  Either way...we WILL accomplish our destiny. The wonderful reason for this is because we have someone who (whether we like it or not) navigates our lives and GRACE is the road map He uses.

I'm using this blog for the purpose of REROUTING...I choose to glorify the solution (God) instead of magnifying the situation. I Corinthians 10:13 reminds me that "God makes a way of escape" whenever we are tempted to go off course.

Question for you...How would you respond to life if there were no such thing as grace? #repentful

Be encouraged and keep stirring!

Strip Search

This is a paraphrased version of a very familiar conversation (Genesis 3:9-13)

God:  Adam, where are you?
Adam:  I heard you in the garden and I was afraid because I was naked. And I hid.
God:  Who told you that you were naked? Did you do the thing I told you not to do?
Adam:  It was that woman you gave me. She made me do it.
God:  Woman, what have you done?
Eve:  The devil made me do it.

Strip Search: To inspect every crevice and cavity of one who has been deemed a suspect involved in criminal activity or wrongdoing.  When was the last time you gave yourself a strip search? 

I have heard this point a million times...when God asked Adam that first question it was not because He didn't know where Adam was.  God was giving Adam the opportunity to police himself, but instead Adam decided to conduct a game of "pass the buck".

It's just like us:

- We start healthy regimens and stop because "It's too expensive to eat healthy".
- We decide to go back to school and stop because "I'm too old to sit in a classroom".
- We start businesses and stop because "I don't have the support that I need".
- We fail in marriages because "No one ever taught me how to be a good husband/wife".
- We fail at parenting because "My parents weren't there for me".
- We are slack in our faith because we view waiting as "unanswered prayer"...the list could go on forever.

My friends, I ask you...where are you and who or what do you blame for it?  If we don't HONESTLY consider and face where we are (spiritually, emotionally, physically, etc.), then we will never allow ourselves the opportunity of landing in the place where we need to be. 

Try this:  Step (1) Start every morning with a resounding "Thank You Lord for another opportunity!"; Step (2) End every night asking yourself this question, "Am I satisfied with the way I handled this day? Step (3) Before you close your eyes to sleep, pray this, "Lord, help me to be better tomorrow!  Then Repeat Steps 1, 2 and 3 over and over again for the rest of your life.

Like Adam, when we are wrong or guilty, we know it.  What sense does it make trying to lie to the ONE person who knows where you are hiding all of your stuff.  After all, you first have to get naked in order to get washed up.

The CENTER

Hey LemonHeads!!

In the event, that I don't respond to ALL of the "Merry Christmas" Facebook messages, text messages and calls to come, this week I pray that God's most choice blessings and His favor be with you and all whom you love. 

Enjoy time with your family and friends as you reflect on, NOT WHAT but, WHO this whole thing is really about.  This video is the theme, not only for this holiday season, but for every season of your life...no matter how hopeless it seems.  Please listen entirely and reflect:

http://youtu.be/XQspvrTBd6E

I love you all and look forward to our conversations in the New Year!  As I always say...Stay Encouraged and Keep Stirring!

Steph

My Letter to People's Opinions

Dear P.O.,

It's funny that those are your initials because you are a BOX!  A P.O. BOX...and I am sending this letter as my key to closing you.  I don't even know how I got caught up with you in the first place. 

Oh wait, I remember!  I spent years asking others what they thought about things concerning my own life.  That's how you crept in and began to control my every move.  You were a sneaky little something, weren't you?

Here's what I've learned about you...that you are none of my business.  The only opinion of me that really matters is God's and then how I feel about myself should line up with what He says about me.  You see, His thoughts of me are precious and pure, He sees me in my fullest potential and He is perfect.  That means He reserves the right to have an opinion of me.

You, on the other had, have a dirty filter.  You see me through a clouded glass because you are tainted with your own imperfection.  You poor thing...who told you that you had a right to judge anyone? 

Let me help you.  Our imperfections are somewhat of a prerequisite for being used as vessels of God.  The anointing on our lives requires that we will always have need of Him.  That's why we must "consider our own selves in the spirit of meekness when we recognize fault in others".

So P.O., I leave you with this challenge...Pray for me instead.  Because neither one of us qualifies to be a judge.

Respectfully,

Steph